Happy Hour with Sunshine

Everyone needs a little Sunshine in their life!

Do I Make These 10 Mistakes When I Blog?

on August 29, 2012

A “friend” sent me an email directing me to a blog that boasted this title: “Do You Make These 10 Mistakes When You Blog?” Do you think she was trying to tell me something? I called her to ask her that very question.  No, I did not respond to her email with an email. If I have something to say to someone, I say it! I don’t direct someone to a webpage to tell her what I want to say.  If I was that kind of girl, I would have sent her to this page: How To Tell Someone You Do Not Want To Be Friends. Anyway, my “friend’s” reply to my direct question was “Oh, I wasn’t trying to tell you anything. I just thought you’d find the article interesting.” Yeah! Like a doctor telling me “you need a colonoscopy.” “Do you think I may have a problem, doctor?” “No. I just think you will find the procedure INTERESTING.”

So, I took a look at the list, and these are my thoughts.

Mistake #1: You don’t post enough. “Hobby bloggers may go weeks between posts. But frequency is what separates the men from the boys.”

First, WHY must it always be “separates the men from the boys?”  Experience has shown me that there really isn’t much of a difference between men and boys. So, I think the saying says nothing. Can we just start saying what we really mean: “separates the women from the girls?” Now in THAT there is a difference!

As for the frequency, I do try and post something at least once a week. Apparently, if I don’t, my readers, all 10 of them, get pissed! I seriously received a message from someone during my 2 week hiatus from blogging, as I road travelled with my boys, that said “Enough play time. Get your ass back to blogging. I need to laugh.”

Question: How often should I blog? Here are your options:

a. Once a week.
b. Twice a week.
c. None of the above.

Mistake #2: You post too much. “Yes, this is possible, too. I don’t need to hear from anyone more than once a day—unless it is a group blog or a news site.”

Well, this ain’t a problem on this blog! As a stay-at-home mom, I have LOTS of bon-bons to eat and way too many daytime talk shows to watch to make time to “post too much.” Although, there was a SLIM chance that I would have more time once Oprah’s time slot opened up. But, I recently heard that Katie Couric is starting an afternoon talk show. Good news for you, dear readers, Oprah’s afternoon time slot has been filled! No extra blogging from me.

Question: Would you like to change your previous answer now that you know it really doesn’t matter?

Mistake #3: Your post is too long.Seth Godin is the master of the short, pithy post. His are usually in the 200–400 word range.”

Good for Seth! I am NOT Seth! I am Sunshine. I write like I talk. I go on and on and on and on . . .

Question: No question! If you don’t like my on and on and on, go read Seth’s blog. He’s not as funny. Although, he is extraordinarily informative and inspiring!

Mistake #4: You don’t invite engagement. “. . . try to end every post with a question.”

I do!! But all 10 of my followers don’t comment. I actually had to throw my L-sister under the bus (and not the party bus, which I aspire to own one day) to get her to reply to a post that I specifically called her out on to comment! (See My Awesome Siblings!  Damn Their Awesome Lives!)

Question: What else is a girl to do to get you to “engage”? Promise naked pictures? O.k. Don’t answer that!

Mistake #5: You don’t participate in the conversation. “When bloggers don’t participate in conversation by commenting on their own posts and responding to their readers, it is like hosting a party at your home, making a brief appearance, and then disappearing.”

I cannot agree more with this! I write my blog to make myself laugh. In turn, I share it with others to make them laugh! And, I hope that my readers will comment so I can then be encouraged to continue my little blog. But no one wants to talk to me! I even try and lure them with games and prizes. But, no one seems to bite! Come on, people! Bite! Otherwise, I will take my bon-bon eating, daytime show watching self to volunteer in my kids’ schools.

Question: Do you want to take the blame for me being a room mom again this year?

Mistake #6: You don’t make your content accessible. “Readers have shorter attention spans. They are scanning content, looking for items that interest them. When you use subheads, lists of bullets or numbers, it draws readers in by making your content accessible.”

a. Sorry you have attention spans the size of a flea’s brain.

b. I had no idea that your attention spans are just like a 5 and 7 year old!

c. Don’t they make something to boost attention spans? Then I advise taking that shit when you read my blog!

d. Are these bullets working on your puny attention spans?

e. I think I will stop with the bullet points, because I don’t think you have the attention span for any more.

Mistake #7: You don’t create catchy headlines. “. . . headlines are the most important thing you write.”

Working on that! In fact, let’s play a game! You know how much I LOVE games!

Question: What should I title one of my blog postings?

Whoever wins, I will make up a story to go along with the title they suggest! I see disaster in that posting. Does anyone else?  Comment and then stay-tuned to see if I am right!

Mistake #8: Your first paragraph is weak. “Assuming that you have written a great headline, people will next read your first paragraph. You must use this paragraph to pull them into the rest of your blog post.”

Oh my damn (OMD!)! What do you lack of attention span people want from me?! Oh yeah! You want a catchy headline, because apparently “headlines are the most important thing you write” (See Mistake # 7 if you forgot already). Now, you want me to “pull you into the rest of my blog post” with a strong first paragraph. Fine! I will concede that I MIGHT be guilty of weak first paragraphs.

Question: No question. Just a comment – Sucks for you!

Kidding!  I will endeavour to tweak my first paragraphs to make them less weak.  I will start doing that during commercial breaks from my daytime show watching.  Although, I may be using that time to lick the chocolate off my fingers from all the bon-bons I eat.

Mistake #9: Your post is off-brand. “ . . . you can get away with the occasional post that strays from your primary message or brand. But if you are trying to build traffic, you need to find an editorial focus and stick to it.”

Wow! I have to commit to a focus? I can’t just focus on All Things Sunshine?

Question: What should my “editorial focus” be?

And, lastly, my ABSOLUTE (decent vodka, by the way) FAVORITE MISTAKE . . .

Mistake #10: Your post is about YOU. “Unless you are a mega-celebrity, readers don’t care about you. Not really.”

Really? ME is all I got! I’m no mega-celebrity. But, the funny shit that has happened to me in my life MUST be shared! It just doesn’t seem right NOT to share! Like I’ve said before “sharing is caring!”

Question:  What else, besides me, would you like me to write about?

NOTE:  Excluding these final sentences in my “NOTE”, this Post is 1,245  words long.  “Only” 1,000 words more than the suggested 200 words length recommended in Mistake # 3.  If I had stopped at 200 words, I would have ended on this sentence from Mistake # 1 “But frequency is what separates the men from the boys.”  Can you imagine all the laughter you would have missed out on had I stopped there?!  You’re welcome!!


42 responses to “Do I Make These 10 Mistakes When I Blog?

  1. raf says:

    this is the second set:

    “when I had my tonsils out.” (you said you’d make something up)
    “fleeing and eluding.”
    “why I love my smart phone.” ;-) hee hee
    “star trek marathons… before DVR’s. ”
    “carp… fresh water’s rat. ”
    “would I look good bald?”
    “Mary Joe Fernandez… I knew that bitch before she was lying about her age.”

    • How awesome are you, raf??!! Not one, but two!, sets of titles for potential future blogs! Although I will put it up for a vote (via Comments received), I have a feeling my readers want to hear about my life as a player – a tennis player that is!

    • g13ronan says:

      “fleeing and eluding.” . . . awesome.

      • First vote for “fleeing and eluding.” So far it is in the lead!

      • g13 says:

        didn’t realize i was voting . . . i guess if i were voting officially my first blog title request would go toward “no ER for you . . . we’ll treat that here”

        i think RAF and i would probably have to actually guest blog “fleeing and eluding” for you . . . not really sure if you took part in our “ninja missions” but i know you were definitely right there with us in the stay at home clinic!!!

      • No, never went on the ninja missions. I was a good girl. But, yes, I was with you in the stay-at-home clinic!

  2. raf says:

    First Set of Titles I would like to see on your blog:

    “dinner table shenanigans.”
    “no ER for you… we’ll treat that here.”
    “if I had gone pro [tennis].”
    “I really want a short bus… I mean party bus.”
    “… because I grew up with 7 brothers.”
    “how much would you sweat without AC?”
    “cooking for an army.”
    “don’t mess with the family.”

  3. raf says:

    “would life be different (better) if I still had my appendix?”
    “if only I could fly, had laser vision, or super strength.”
    “who cares if I drink alone. ” lol

  4. rebecca2000 says:

    LOL I like that you post about you. I find it more interesting. The first post I saw of yours was about your siblings and then I had a mad girl crush on you.

    I post about me too. I am sorta branding myself and I am posting about happenings in my life people relate to.

    I also post twice a day because i have readers on the other side of the world. Alright, I admit I am a failure.

    x,
    Becca
    Ladyornot.com

  5. Amy F says:

    So you know if my P-girl were to grow up to marry your E-man she would totally luck out in the mother-in-law pool. I could only hope to bring half as much wit to the party. Verbose on. And I mean that in the most positive verbishly way possible.

  6. Kelly J says:

    Wow. Where to start ? What was question number 1 ? Seriously ….your blogs are about you and they are fricking funny – that’s why I started reading them. You can never accomplish this much hilarity in under 200 words. I too love games – BTW I just received my prize and I love it. Thank you. Your next blog title should be ” what does sunshine do on a rainy day ” or ” Seven Days of Sunshine”

    • What does Sunshine do on a rainy day? And, Seven Days of Sunshine. I like them! Vote, people! Glad you like your prize. I was going to give a special shout out to you when I said “But, no one seems to bite!” I was going to add “except that Kelly J, our first official winner on Happy Hour with Sunshine!” But, that would have put me WAY over the word limit; even more so than 1,000! Seriously, thanks for your undeterred support!

      • Amy F says:

        Why do I giggle when you say “support”?

        When is your next local Happy Hour with Sunshine?

      • Giggle away! The is no shame in that! Kelly J, as well as all the people who have been so kind to read and comment on my blog (You included, future awesome mother-in-law!), are all like an underwire size G bra, “that looks very similar to a small pup tent,” but provides the support a girl needs to keep from hurting herself! Someone actually called my bras “pup tents.” But not anymore!! The next local (i.e., San Diego) Happy Hour With Sunshine will be posted shortly! Stay-tuned! September is a “special” month for me!

  7. Aunt R says:

    What do you mean so girls don’t hurt themselves? Even with a ‘G’ underwire I hurt myself. LOL That is why I try not to run…..well, that and being over 60. : ) I really like the 7 days with Sunshine idea…….

    • With a size G bra, DO NOT run, walk! And, walk to the nearest plastic surgeon who can get them down to a more manageable size! Your vote for “7 Days with Sunshine” has been noted. Thank you for the vote!

  8. Lici says:

    Title: …..What does it truly feel like to have a five foot cockroach crawling on your face?

    Not that you need help with writing your blogs, but I and the rest of your siblings could help you!!!!

  9. Robert says:

    Sunshine’s brand of fun DEFINITELY does not come in 200 words or less. I wouldn’t want it any other way!

    I love reading your blog Sunshine, and I think one really good one per week (like this one) is cool. The problem is people get greedy and want more and more of the really good stuff. Think of your posts as those scrumptious little Bon-Bons.

    And for the love of all things holy, DO NOT make her be a room mom again people!

    • That’s right! If I post too often, then people will be laughing every day! And, before you know it, those people will no longer need their antidepressants. Then, the makers of prozac, Et al. will be going to Congress to put an end to my blog postings, because no one will need their drugs anymore!! And, being just the small blogger that I am, I will be taken off the internet that Al Gore invented, because I will not be able to compete with the money that is pharmaceuticals!!

      And, yes, for the love of God, help me just say “No” to room mom!

  10. JJHF says:

    I personally have to go with “no ER for you… we’ll treat that here.” But, as you know, I’m a little biased when it comes to anything that involves the ER, plus I had been a victim of that also.

    Here are some of my own suggestions:

    “How much character does one kid need?”
    “When standing in line to receive ‘punishment’, does place position really matter?”
    “Were all those straight “As” really worth it? I mean, really?”
    “Who made up the rule ‘oldest in the front’ anyways?”
    “Was it the 18 eggs served for breakfast every morning that moved me to become vegetarian?”

    • “When standing in line to receive ‘punishment’, does place position really matter?” THAT one is already on deck to be dealt with! Although, that wasn’t the title I was thinking of using. I was thinking along the lines of “That didn’t hurt!” And, the “18 eggs for breakfast,” GENIUS!!

  11. KJ says:

    i vote for “no ER for you … we’ll treat that here.” looking forward to hearing about this one knowing your parents’ professions. :)

    • Looks like the “No ER for you . . . ” seems to be the title in the lead. No one has even voted for the tennis playa! I guess I stand corrected on my previous comment! Take note of this, because it rarely happens that I need to be “corrected”!

  12. jdk says:

    Voting for “no ER for you … we’ll treat that here.”

  13. raf says:

    to answer some questions:
    1. posting once a week would be awesome.
    2. love to hear about you and your family.
    … please nothing political.
    3. pray thee never become a room mom again.
    4. use as many words as you feel are necessary… If I think it’s too many or inimical, I’ll stop reading.
    5. I think your focus should be that “life can be funny… here are some examples.” I live life… reading nonsense and silliness is an escape for me.
    6. The A’s were worth it … really… they were. :-)

  14. rebecca2000 says:

    I know you have waited your entire life for this…but you were nominated for an award on my blog
    http://ladyornot.com/?p=1301

    • This is so . . . exciting, and such an honor! I haven’t won anything since I won “Mom Most Likely To Hurt Herself” in the first official playgroup I joined when I became a mom. This nomination validates all I have been through! Without my trials and tribulations, I would not have even considered writing a blog, and thus, I would never have been nominated! Thank you, thank you, thank!

  15. [...] title won the “What should I title one of my blog postings?”  game I had on my post Do I Make These 10 Mistakes When I Blog?  And, always one to deliver on my promises, this is what I have to say about that [...]

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